From the “team” that brought us “Pirates Of The Caribbean”, comes this rather lacking and somewhat boring effort. The trailer said it all, but I dared to hope for more, but in fact got even less.

The acting is up there with some of the worst and most wooden that I have ever seen, with the plot and even the scenery chewing the scenery! I wanted very much to say that Alfred Molina’s performance as the Ostrich racing bandit was a saving grace but even this could do very little to help.

Overall, the “good” elements of this film, such as the music, effects and production design, all fail to truly impress, as they are all standard fare, with little to offer in the way inspiration.

But with the screenplay, direction and what can laughably be referred to as acting, with the less said about Gyllenhaal’s English accent, strange for a Persian might I add, and even less said about Ben Kingsley’s hammiest of hammy performances, this is a film dragged to deepest depths of failure.

“Pirates Of The Caribbean” had something, even at its worst that this doesn’t, and that was chemistry. This was AWOL in this film, and the final point that I MUST make is in the form of a question, rhetorical or not I’ll leave open to interpretation: Why, oh why, is Gemma Arterton continually being cast in films, let alone major blockbusters?

There’s alot wrong with is film and visuals aren’t the half of it, though the constant and often erratic camera movement doesn’t help, but casting and character direction was at the forefront.

A comment regarding the computer to movie adaptation: There were certainly signs of its gaming roots, but these flourishes worked well enough, paying homage to the huge jumps and action cues which are common place in the genre. They was in many ways were the film’s artistic integrity lies.

If a sequel is forthcoming and I PRAY not, then casting, if not recasting needs some serious consideration, as does removing Mike Newell from behind the camera.

Epic fail.

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